Mid-West Hell

The future.....

2009-08-08T07:03:00.000-07:00

My husband and I are both applying to doctorate school at the University of Oregon for next fall 2010. :big breath: Different departments grant you but it would be so cool if we both get in and get to go together. But this would also mean that we would be moving from the Midwest to the Pacific Northwest...:big eyes:

40!!

2009-07-28T19:19:00.000-07:00

I will be 40 tomorrow!!!

Yup, I am alright.

The worst Job in the World

2009-07-19T17:03:00.000-07:00

is substitute teaching. I was a sub from March till the end of April and I have to say of the handful of jobs I have had it was the worse. I have never been in a position in which I was given the least amount of respect, and I am not necessarily talking about the students.
Fellow teachers and principles are the major culprits.
Just because you have never met me, just because I will be gone at the end of the day, just because I am not a "teacher", does not, and I repeat, does not, give you the right to treat me like an invader, or a fool because I do not know your schools procedures. It does not give you the right to throw me in a classroom and then get angry when I have trouble with students or the right to ignore me when I ask for help or information.
I am there to help you, I am the one who takes your place when you are sick or need a day off. I deserve your respect for the fact that I do not know from day to day whether I will be working or not. I am the one woke up at 5am and asked to work, to work for you. And the principles...you know what...each school is different, I do not know your procedures and when children are misbehaving. Why am I not allowed to send them to the principle when I am told of no other way to disciple the children and am having trouble with several of them misbehaving? I was told by one principle that she was too busy and that I needed to just deal with the kids myself even though I have no authority to give detentions or give out "yellow" slips.

As for the students...It shames me to see so many kids being raised in such a way that they lack basic respect for an adult, whether that adult knows how their classroom works or not. I have been ridiculed and completely ignored while being a sub by students of all ages but this disrepect is most common among the older children.
The little kids, 1st grade and younger, are fantastic. They are happy and loving and just a plain joy but its sad to see that change as they become older and for some, start to emulate their parents, who are also disrepectful.

What happened to respect? What happened to basic courtesy? What happened to just plain being nice? Or is this a condition that is only here where I live?
I don't know but its sad to see there kids and then their teachers act like this because I am a sub and not a regular member of their school.

Anyways, I won't be a substitute this year. I will be looking for another job while I wait to hear if I made the PhD program I applied for.

And the results are in

2009-06-04T19:16:00.000-07:00

It has now been a full year that I have been unemployeed, not counting working as a sub. I graduated last May with my Master of Art degree in history. Whoopie.

I havent been able to find ANYTHING..nada..unemployment here is 9.5 %, there are no big businesses in the area except car manufacturers...oh yes they are declaring backruptcy.
And no one is hiring unless you have lots of experience or know someones brothers cousins girlfriend.

I am trying not to get down about it. Positive thinking. But its hard. My oldest son starts college in the fall and we are trying to figure out how to get him a car so that he doesnt have to take the metrolink since there have been a handful of hold ups at the stations near us. Thank goodness he wanted to start with the local community college.

Now for something completely different:

I am drawing again. yay!
I have also started a goregous garden in the backyard with my mothers help. I am sooo happy with it.
I have also cut all my hair off. I look just like I stepped out of the early 1900's...its pretty cool though the curls are crazy.
My trip to visit my sister sucked. God her life is a mess. Makes me feel great about mine though. :grin:
And I am watching Deadlist Catch...I love that show.

Dr. Evil

2009-05-15T18:37:00.000-07:00

:does a dance:

2009-05-01T05:20:00.000-07:00

Got my results...cancer free!!! WHOOP!!

Now I just have to see the specialist (because they are special) and determine the next step!! Surgery or not to surgery.

had my biopsy

2009-04-29T17:16:00.001-07:00

And it was one of the worst experiences I have ever had. It hurt soo much even after they supposedly numbed me. Course getting four HUGE needles stuck into your throat so they can take samples of your thyroid is just not fun.

I feel a bit better today, not as sore but it still hurts like a son of a bitch to move my neck.

I should have my results by Friday when I see the Specialist. Hopefully it will be good news.

Fringe

2009-04-21T18:58:00.000-07:00

I love that show!!! I cant even begin to go on about its coolness factor. Lost (nothing is cooler than Lost) is still on top but Fringe is a very very close second.

AND NIMOY IS THE BIG BAD GUY!!! My geeky life is good.

Not sure about doctors

2009-04-13T06:25:00.000-07:00

I had an appointment last week to see the surgeon. There is a possiblity that I will have to have surgery on my thyroid. I get there the surgeon has no idea why I am even there. Great. I didnt make the appointment, the nurse at my regular doctor did. Hell, I did not even know about the appointment until the week before. I havent seen my doctor since Febuary. Okay, that's fine but he does decide to schedule a biopsy. Says it will take an hour, in and out I dont even need anyone to drive me, nothing. Great, okay. The nurse from his office calls me later that day with my appointment except she tells me, its at 1pm, be there two hours ahead of time. Instead of going to Ultrasound (this is a fine needle biospy that is suppose to be ultrasound guided) I go to surgery, I am not allowed to eat or drink after 9 am and I have to have sound who can drive me home. What???? Now I am confused. The surgeon also told me that the meds I have been on for almost two months AND which my regular doctor did not give me a refill on are not even to control my hyperthryoid...just the symptoms, which it is no longer doing as well and that they cant do anything for me until I see the expert. Which isnt for another month.

This is almost as bad as when I first went to the doctor about the shaking, nervousness...basically all the classical symptoms of hyperthryoid...and all he wanted to give me without any blood tests was pills for a nervous disorder. I am glad I didnt take them, I knew it was something else even if I didnt know it was hyperthyroid at the time but that was almost three years ago. I have been dealing with all these crazy symptoms and such for years and now that someone finally knows what it is I have still had to wait almost three months (another to go) before I can even see the expert.

I am exhausted.

weird weather

2009-03-28T19:54:00.000-07:00

I really do hate the midwest sometimes. We have been having between 55-70 degree weather for the last couple of weeks, but this weekend Mother Nature decided to kick us in the ass. We are expecting between 4-6 inches of snow by tomorrow. What??? I dont know why I act shocked. We have had snow well into April and at least one time in May. As they say around here, dont like the weather? Wait an hour and it will change.

I have also decided to go back to school. Being a substitute teacher, or a teacher in general is just not for me. I am shocked at the lack of respect by the kids and even more shocked by the other teachers themselves. So this week is probably my last week and then I am looking for something else and possibly going back to school this fall for a certificate in something more marketable than History. And something that has a very very very low level of stress. I am finding I do not handle stress very well. I am having all sorts of weird health issues not related to my hypertyroid and do to stress.

Clean colon!

2009-03-25T17:09:00.000-07:00

Well, I finally got my colonspoloy (Okay I know I spell it wrong but you get the picture...my college education at work!! lol)

Anyways, I have been terrified to do this. My father died of colon cancer 14yrs ago at the age of 51. So doctors told me when I turned 40 I should get one. I will be 40 in July so I went ahead and got her done. Yesterday was TERRIBLE!!! I couldnt eat for almost 48 hrs and had to drink this awful stuff that smelled like the water you find at the bottom of a garbage can, I almost threw up, got the chills and had to poop water all day. Today I was so scared that they would find something. The sedative was GREAT!! I love that...and they found nothing. I have a perfectly healthy colon and I do not have to have it again for another one for 5 yrs (because of my family history).

I could have cried. I was so happy. Thank you Daddy for watching out for me and Thank you God dude, if you are listening.

Now I just need to get this thyroid crap done. I am thinking surgery is in my future because of my swallowing difficulty but I can deal with it.

I hate doctors

2009-03-12T05:15:00.000-07:00

Well the next few months are going to include a LOT of doctors visits. Between me taking my mom to her hand surgery, I have to have a colonoposy (I spelt that wrong!!!) because of a family history...well only my Dad who died of colon cancer 14 yrs ago. And then they have discovered that I am hyperthyroid and that there is a lump on my thyroid. Nothing to really worry about, 95% of thyroid lumps are benign but I have to have a needle biopsy to be sure and to decide if I need surgery to remove it. The upside is, if I have surgery I get to be Frankenstein!!

I really hate going to the doctor. The only good thing is I get a few days off. :grin:

Attack of the 2nd grader!!

2009-03-04T16:53:00.000-08:00

I subbed today for a 2nd grade class...I will be subbing for them tomorrow too. These guys are just nuts!! lol Its fun but today we had to write poems using similes...I got some really weird poems. One kid wrote one about monsters eating people and another wrote one about a dead rat. Should I be worried? I think so.

I also learned about another little girls dead guinea pig....it was one of those days.

Radioactive girl!!!

2009-02-11T15:08:00.000-08:00

Today was my day at the hospital. I had a couple of blood tests last week and it was discovered that I am hyperthyroid. But the blood test was not good enough. I also had to have a thyroid scan and a thyroid ultrasound. The scan required me to swallow a radioactive pill which I had to take with a plastic cup since I was not allowed to touch it. lol I kept hoping I would get superpowers today but nope...nothing. But I did find out that I have a REALLY big thyroid which is what has been affecting my swallowing for the last few years. I choke very easily and I had always thought it was just me, but it turns out I have a big ass thyroid. lol But no superpowers.

I start the pills tomorrow and then go to the doctor again next week.

I swear

2009-02-08T18:01:00.000-08:00

I write more blogs about how much I hate my mother. Oh yes, I hate my mother.

circle of life

2009-01-29T18:25:00.001-08:00

My grandmother on the left, Buena in the middle and the last sister, Mildred on the right. My grandmother was the youngest along with her twin brother. He was the first to go at 81, then my grandmother at 83, Buena was 96. Mildred is the last of the family still living and she is 92.

My 37 yr old sister called me yesterday to let me know she is pregnant. She already has two little girls, 13 and 10 and now this is very big surprise.That same night I found out that my great aunt Buena (whose picture is on my site here) died at the age of 96.

New pics!!!

2009-01-26T05:36:00.000-08:00

Llywellyn, Harrion, and Zackary

weird twists of life

2009-01-26T05:30:00.000-08:00

Well it looks like I might be becoming a substitute teacher. I have been telling people for YEARS, I really mean that..YEARS, that I was not going to be a teacher. Now I am trying to be a sub and I am thinking of going for my teaching certificate in about a year. The more I think about it, the more it is the perfect job for me. My daughter is slightly autistic, very high functioning but she needs me home when she is home if possible. It was really hard for her while I was in graduate school because I had a lot of night classes, but I kept promising her that when this was done I would have a job in which I would be home every night. She has been counting on it. Me too. So teaching seems a fairly good fit. I also love kids. Being a mom has been the best thing in my entire life and I just adore kids. My mother has been telling me for years she thinks teaching would be good for me and that I would like it. Well, I am going to find out now.
I am very scared and excited. I have this weird peace about it. If you had any idea how nervous I am. I am this close to being one of those people who never leave the house. But I am going to do this. I am determined to do so. All I want from life right now is to be happy and to make my kids happy.

And to move to Colorado someday!!

New Year

2009-01-04T09:37:00.000-08:00

I am not sure how I feel about the new year. The last year sorta sucked though I have had sucker years in the past.
I have a lot of changes ahead and I am a bit stressed out about them.
Course, my sister and her stupid boyfriend decided to pop in on us this weekend, eat all our food and then dump her kids with us while they drive around. Great...I hate that. I mean come on!!! Once a month is too much!! I do not want to see my sister that much and I dont appreciate having to feed her either EVERY MONTH! We have a limited budget here and when she and her kids and boyfriend come it blows it all to hell. I just wish my mother would say something to her but of course, she wont.
:takes deep breath: Okay I was a bit pissed about that but they are leaving today. yay!

The job hunting is getting me down to. I have a flipping Masters degree but I cannot find a job. I am scared to get a job too. I havent worked in over 9 yrs. I have been in school and being a mom. Before that I had not worked for 10yrs being an at home mom. I have had a total of 5 jobs my entire life and I hated all of them. :sigh:
But I keep telling myself I can do this.

I need a walk.

Ugh

2008-12-06T15:42:00.000-08:00

My kids: Harrison, Llywellyn and Zackary!!

Harri: The Hat Thief

I just feel very Ugh right now. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact I still dont have a job, that I am scared to have a job, that I want a job that I like and that I am not sure what to do about it. I am also feeling like I went to college for nothing because I am looking at jobs at Barnes and Noble or Target when that is exactly what I went to school to avoid. BLAH!!!!

Okay now for pictures!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

2008-11-27T16:49:00.000-08:00

Well the last week has been crappy with my mother and I fighting with my sister about her stupid boyfriend she has had all of 3 1/2 months NOT coming for Thanksgiving. It was the stupidest thing. I won't write about it only because I don't really feel like rehashing it yet again but I still think my sister is a complete idiot. Anyways they ended up not coming because her ex husband was being a dick. (My sister is very good at surrounding herself with dicks).

BUT
We had a nice quiet Thanksgiving except for the boys threatening to throw food at one another. lol We had a great dinner and then went uptown for the annual Gingerbread walk. It was pitiful this year, not a lot of entries but we still had fun. Then we drove over the the Target shopping area and walked in front of all the stores and all over the parking lot looking for pennies and other loose change. It was fun because NO ONE was there. We had the place to ourselves. The kids had fun looking for change. lol My daughter is saving for a cosplay outfit so she will take any change she can find. It was a regular treasure hunt.

I hope everyone else had a great Thanksgiving. Tomorrow we are off to walk in Forest Park and the Central West End....and staying away from ALL the stores!!!

When did I get old?

2008-11-19T18:39:00.000-08:00

My oldest son, Zackary is turning 18 years old next month. I keep trying to figure out how that happened? It seems sometimes that it hasnt been that long since I had him. He has always been such a great kid. He is kind, thoughtful, responsible (within reason), has never been in trouble except when he beats himself up thinking he is not good enough. He is not only a great kid, but a great older brother to his brother and sister, especially with his sister who is slightly autistic and has a learning disability. She can be difficult at times but Zack is so patient with her and they get along great. Harri, my youngest, absolutly worships Zack. He is not 250 lbs, 6ft tall. I remember when I could carry him on my hip.

It is exciting to see the young man he is turning into but sometimes I become sad missing the little boy he was.

Black Cementery/Monroe County hiking!

2008-11-01T21:17:00.000-07:00

Located in Monroe County, hidden in the woods there. This is called the Black Cementery because this is where many African Amercians were buried between 1800 to 1860's. It is very over grown and hard to find. My mother's friend said there should be a grave dating to the 1700's but there were so many stone buried or so far back in the woods they were hard to get to.I am not sure if this is true but this is what I was told.

I got some great pictures and hopefully I did not get poison ivy!!!

After finding the cementary we went through the National Archives CAVES!! You can only drive through them, it was creepy. Then we hiked up the Salt Lick hiking trail over the bluffs. It was soooo beautiful.

Quiet Halloween

2008-11-01T21:14:00.001-07:00

Well we didnt go out to eat for our anniversary. We decided we just couldnt afford to spend the money. So we grilled instead.
No real trick or treaters. Belleville/Swansea have a new rule, no one under the age of 13/14 yrs old is allowed to trick or treat or their parents will be fined $25. We mostly have crappy teenagers in our neighborhood...that and the area has gone downhill in recent years.

Now its Novemeber. I am looking forward to Thansgiving!!!! I have no idea why.

9 yrs!

2008-10-28T06:52:00.000-07:00

Married 9yrs as of Friday, Halloween! My husband and I have know each other for over 11yrs and I am still completely and utterly in love with him.

The kids are too big for trick or treating and because of the state of the neighborhood we have decided not to celebrate here but we are all going out to dinner. It will be fun.

Crazy children

2008-10-14T05:34:00.000-07:00

My children are nuts. I love it.

Anger Management

2008-10-03T17:46:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had the desire to shoot someone???
I feel that way about my neighbors. They have to be the rudest people as well as the fact that I have seen them selling drugs on their front porch. I have no idea what to do. I do not feel that I can call the police because this is not a "rich" neighborhood and I am scared of retalition by these same neighbors.

why do things have to be like this?

the craziness

2008-08-06T08:12:00.000-07:00

The kids all go back to school in just a couple of weeks. The last two weeks of summer are always crazy between my daughters birthday (which is Monday Aug. 11 she will be 15) Hair cuts, new school visits (my daugher starts high school this year and my youngest son starts Junior high and this is my old sons senior year!), dental appointements before school starts and then the last minutes making sure everyone really has everything!! CRAZINESS!!!!!

I still dont have a job but I am sorta looking forward to a few weeks of having the house to myself. But I want a job sooooo badly!!!!! Most of the jobs I applied for out at the air force base do not close until the end of next month, so I am really hoping I get one of those but I also applied for some jobs with Disney, mostly in chicago..I am really hoping to move my family in the next five years! PlEaSe!! lol

more of my family

2008-08-06T08:06:00.000-07:00

My dad Charles Rhoades.

My great grandmother Mattie Hamilton as a little girl

more family photos

2008-07-28T20:49:00.001-07:00

This is myself Laura, my mother Sheryl and my sister Jenny taken in Germany 1976-77. We lived there for almost 4yrs.

Keys and Hamilton families. My great grandmother Mattie Hamilton and my great great grandmother are in the back second from the left. the woman sitting in the front is my great grandmothers aunt Laura I believe. This was taken in the early 1900's in Texas.

My Great Grandfather James Austin, he was Mattie Hamliton's husband, a dairy farmer in Abliene, TX. I believe this was taken in the 1930's.

My Dad's Aunt Irma James (I believe thats her first name) and her husband. Sometime in the early 1920's. Hannibal, MO.

my dad Charles Rhoades as a kid, sometime in the 1940's-50's in Hannibal, MO.

People across the street

2008-07-14T06:21:00.000-07:00

Across the street from our house is an old duplex. It has been a rental for as long as I can remember. What is interesting is to watch how the quailty of people who have rented that place has slowly declined...sort of an illustration of how the neighborhood has fallen. The lastest group are loud (very loud), stand in the street all the time, let their kids run eveywhere, curse loudly constantly, constantly parking in front of our house taking our only places to park our own cars and there is always a steady stream vehicles coming and going. They have lived there since November and the cops have been there at least once to twice a month and having twice arrested someone. The most recent arrest was Saturday.

I have absolutely no problem with people being poor. Hell I was on WIC with all three of my kids and right now I am on Medicad for my children while getting through college and while I am currently unemployed after graduation and looking for a job. I understand completely about being poor and down on my luck. My as my mother says, soap is cheap and good manners are free. I hate to see this neighborhood falling into the cracks of society and becoming another Ghetto. The worse part is that just a couple of miles away are homes worth 1/2 a million dollars!!! I was noting to my mother that we dont see the cops driving down our street anymore unless its to make an arrest across the street or last year there was a shooting 6 houses down. Otherwise we rarely see them. When we first moved here, a cop came down our street once a day. I figured they all moved over to the expensive neighborhoods. It pisses me off because my mother works for te IRS she makes a good living as a secretary and has supposed this family by herself since my father died and my husband and I have been in college. She deserves the police protection just as much as anyone, so does the old lady, the other older couple and several others on this street who have lived here 20+ years but when suddely people, like the people across from us move in we all become...unworthy even though we are law upholding citizens.

Irma Duran and Warren James

2008-07-09T10:11:00.000-07:00

My great great grandparents on my fathers side from Hannibal, Missouri. taken in the early 1900's. My father always said we were related to Jesse James since my fathers family is all from Pike county in IL and Hannibal, MO. Not sure if it is true though.

Copy of my Grandfather's honorable discharge from the Army

2008-07-08T07:15:00.000-07:00

I thought this was really cool. I never knew my Grandfather Herley G. Perkinson had been in the army, only that he was in the Air Force. Apparently when he rejoined he joined the Air Force. My mother told me he served in WWII, Vietnam and such but that he never talked about it. When he passed away my mother said when she got his military records, pages and pages of his service records where blacked out. I really wish I had gotten to talk to him.

Shirle June

2008-07-08T07:14:00.000-07:00

Shirley June, my grandma Garretts little sister who died after two months. Not sure exactly when it was taken but my mother believes it was around 1926.
A Sleeping Beauty picture. I thought this was really unusally because I had thought by the 1920's this practice had stopped. But at the time I believe Hannibal, MO was still mosting a small river town.

My great great great great great grandfather

2008-07-07T21:03:00.000-07:00

This is an article about my great great great great grandfather, William Harrison Wroughton who fought in the Civil War serving with the 99th Illinois volunteer Infantry. He was one of four sons four of whom were soliders and three died, two in the Civil War. William's brother, Dan Wroughton was taken prisoner by the rebels and complled to stand in the front ranks fo the southern forces, where he was shot in battle by the Union soldiers, his own comrades. By only a day, fate prevented his death at the hands of his brother George, who 24 hours later, attacked , with his forces, the sector where his brother had been killed the day before.
this appeared in a paper called The Republian in Pike County 1932

Loves Husband again

2008-07-03T05:43:00.000-07:00

my husband is sooooooo hot!!!!!!!!!

Okay I got completely over it. No he didnt do anything to make it up to me except to say sorry but we talked and cried and kiss and now I am totally in love with him again. lol

My sister is visiting for a week!! Ooooo my. lol We are going to go see Wall-e!! I am sooo excited. I love these sorts of movies. Its also nice to go to the movies where you know people wont be assholes and there will be no surprises in the film...as my oldest son says.. THINGS THAT CANT BE UNSEEN!!! lol I love that...he does it in that great deep voice its so funny.

I hate my husband

2008-06-27T14:45:00.000-07:00

he knew how much I wanted a kitten. After a while he finally let me get one and then 3 days later he made me get rid of it because he didnt want to pay for it and he hates cats...well ALL animals. I am so hurt and dissappointed. He said he would not do that and then he turns around and does it anyways. I hate him right now. The only persons feelings he cares about are his own, he doesnt care how much I cried over that kitten...only that he got his way, as always.

Sawyer

2008-06-24T19:47:00.000-07:00

My husband brought me a kitten today. I was surprised, my husband hates animals but he knows how much I love cats. I have had cats since I was a kid. He is orange and white tabby who we have dubbed Sawyer. He is going to spend most of his time hanging out with my daughter though. I wanted her to have him since her cat Baron died several months ago and she never really got over it. Baron was hit by a car. But Sawyer is going to be a complete house cat, we are even going to go so far as to declaw him
My daughter is pretty happy and hasnt come downstairs all evening.

my dad

2008-06-14T20:32:00.000-07:00

Found these old pictures of my dad. The first one is after he married my mom in 1964, the others are from when he was stationed in Vietnam, before he met my mother. I believe they are from 1958-9 but there was no date on the pictures.

more old family pictures Tin types

2008-06-07T16:52:00.001-07:00

These are some old Tintype photos. they are really interesting since they are on "tin" these are of my great great grandfather and we believe two of his children. Not sure if the little one is my great grandmother or not.

finding old pictures

2008-06-06T20:38:00.001-07:00

I am on a family project to scan all our old pictures. I found this one of my dad. I miss him so much.

my kids

2008-06-06T08:43:00.001-07:00

I love this picture of my kids!!! They are getting so grown up..:depressed: It all goes by so fast.
Llywellyn will be 15 in August, Zackary will be 18 in December and Harrison just turned 12 this last April. I love the fact that they are getting so big but at the sametime it is upsetting to watch them move away from you.

Rain rain go away

2008-06-04T05:53:00.001-07:00

UGH!!! More rain this week. I am really beginning to wonder if this is the Amazon. We have had sooooo much rain and the heat! Its going to be 93 today and its only the 4th of June!

We are going to the zoo today with our umbrellas to look at wet animals and smell wet fur.

Owwww!!

2008-06-01T06:46:00.001-07:00

My oldest son..Zack...just gave me one of those guy knuckle punches..OWWWW!!! His fist makes two of mine!! What was I thinking!!!!

old pictures

2008-05-26T21:26:00.000-07:00

Me: Laura Rhoades-Stovall

My grandmother Laura Austin-Perkinson 1942

Mattie Hamilton-Austin my great grandmother

my great grandmother Mattie Hamilton-Austin. The guy at the top is who she was going to marry before she met my great grandfather.

I decided to scan some pictures of my great grandmother as well as my nana and papa. I have a lot to scan. I wanted to have a way to keep them just incase something happened to them. The ones of my great grandmother are from the late 1890's!

something in my teeth

2008-05-22T07:44:00.000-07:00

I hate having crooked teeth!! Everything gets stuck in them.
My parents never got me braces as a kid...money...and they didnt think about it and I am now paying the price. My dentist said just a week ago...I wish you had straight teeth they are so much easier to take care of. Well you and me both buddy...you going to pay for it? Cause I will let you!
lol

I am getting a couple of crowns next week, right now I have those fake metal teeth on. GRRRR...I could be that guy from all the James Bond films! lol

weird dreams of Godzilla

2008-05-15T07:22:00.001-07:00

I had the craziest dream last night. My son was Godzillas owner and had taken him on a rampage through the walmart shopping area. While there, Gidgra (is that how you spell it?) Anyways, Gidgra pops his head up over by the community college (which is across from Walmart), because the college apparently owned Gidgra who apparently was upset over Godzilla and then a little battle between the two monsters started but my son jumped off Godzillas back while all these police cars came so he could go to Burger King. I was all upset he was going to be arrested.

LOL I told my son Harri about the dream and he loved it. It was the weirdest dream I had had in a long time.

Had my break down yesterday

2008-05-13T05:23:00.000-07:00

yesterday I had my once a month "I hate people" break down. lol My mother says I am too harsh but you know...it seems like once a month someone always proves for me that I am right!!

We had one nice day so far in nearly two weeks of rain. RAIN!!! You know...I love a good rainy day...but everyday? The damn river near my house is going to flood, I just know it!!!

On the other side, I have been graudated for a week...where is my job!!??? LOL I have a damn Masters degree!! :sigh: Just a waiting game but I am going to try and enjoy my time off before I am snatched up.

Yesterday I had two crowns put on at the Dentist...OUCH!!! I now have two mental teeth...just like that guy from those Roger Moore James Bond movies!! Okay, well only for two weeks until they make them white again.

I hate people

2008-05-12T12:18:00.001-07:00

GODDDD!!!! People suck! And they piss me off. What is wrong with being just simply descent??? Why does everyone have to get something for nothing?? Why are people rude?? AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Pisses me off!!!

stuff and more stuff

2008-05-04T05:14:00.000-07:00

well I am DONE!! My German final is on Monday and that is it for this semester. I wont be going to the graduation ceremony but oh well. could not afford the robes.

I send my stuff off for Doctorate school as well as several jobs out at the base. now it is just a waiting game. I am terrified. Terrifed I will get in, or get a job or both...and terrifed that I wont!! Ugh!! LOL

With the price of gas, my husband and I have decided not to go and see my sister this summer. Its only about 4 hours but still...thats a lot for a family of 5, especially when neither my husband or I have a job at the moment. we are going to stick close to home, same thing we do most summers. But we are saving to go to Disney next summer for my daughters 16th birthday. I am just hoping no major disasters happen and that I have a good job WAY before then.

FRIDAY!!!!!!!! I SHALL DEFEND!!!!!

2008-04-08T05:20:00.000-07:00

Man I want to throw up. lol My chair isnt even going to be there. blah.

My kids are crazy. They have taken to hitting each other as a sign of love. Its really pretty funny since my eldest Zack has for so long not been allow to smack his little brother...I mean there is a five year difference between the two of them..but Harri is not as tall as me and I have now told him...you attack Zack or your sister...you will have to deal with what happens. Its hilarious!!!!! Its like having one of those wrestling shows in your own home!!!

I should start charging money.

Coffee

2008-04-01T05:26:00.000-07:00

Man, I have developed a love affair with coffee!!! I have been mostly drinking decaf, even though there are not a lot of choices but I am slowly moving to caffined coffee. I have been drinking decaf only because caffine usually makes me crazy but I have decided I need the crazy. That and there are more flavors in caffined coffee than decaf.

Well I turn my thesis in only to be told it is unacceptable. I was like WHAT!!?? Its only formatting stuff...dont like where I put my page numbers and crap of that nature. Ugh...more work.

I am debating wheather to do the walk or not. The robes cost $50 and I would have to get up at 7am on a Saturday to be there at 8am. :sigh: lol I like sleeping in on Saturaday!!! The other thing is we want to go out to dinner and the $50 for the robes would go a long way toward going out. AND my sister would not be allowed to go since I am only allowed to have 6 guests. :sigh: I just dont know......

Holy Crap!!!

2008-03-30T15:22:00.000-07:00

After working on it for over 8hrs...I finally got my thesis printed today.

I hate microsoft office. What a piece of crap!! I wont get into the many many problems I had today trying to print off 135 pages..but my god you would think the frickin program would be made the handle more than just a few pages and pictures?!!

My defense is set for April 11th at 8am. I am hoping the professors are all half asleeep and only want coffee and donuts and wont ask me too many things!!

!

Uggghhh sick!!!

2008-03-25T05:19:00.000-07:00

I am sick...again. Damn I hate being sick!!!

Flooding

2008-03-21T07:09:00.000-07:00

Well all the rain has brought about flooding all over Missouri and Illinios. We are lucky, where we live we are near a river, its just down the street but it takes a LOT for it to flood. Though its pretty scary high right now and too high to walk along like we usually do, plus the current is really strong.
There are a few towns in the area that are flooded out and a lot of roads that are flooded as well. I feel for those people, that would be so hard.
I am planning on going down to the river to take some pictures today and to drive over to the wetland park to take some more.

Spring offically here!!!

2008-03-19T04:59:00.000-07:00

Midwest spring is a strange thing. Nothing gradual about it. First you have one very warm day of around 70 but then the next day it drops back down to 33. That goes on for about a week, maybe two and then it starts to be a constant tempature of around 50-55 and then rains for days. lol But I do love the rain.

In other news....lol....not much. My sister and her kids are coming for Easter. :cringe: That will make for 9 people in this tiny house and three dogs. Blah!!!
I have 6wks left until graduation. Thank God. I am exhausted. I have applied for 12 jobs out at the base. Keeping my fingers crossed!

it melted...it snowed...it melted again.

2008-03-05T17:18:00.000-08:00

Oh my god the weather is crazy. It iced and snowed yesterday, schools shut down, businesses shut down, accidents everywhere...today...sunny and now most of the snow is gone. :rolls eyes:

Our spring break is next week...:moves finger around in air: I will spend it getting my thesis ready...hopefully. lol

I am so nervous, I just realized that I have never had a real job. I have worked at Taco Express, Shoe Cellar and Dillards all before my kids were born. And then Target and Wonder Years Day care after that. It has been eight years since I had my last job. I am terrified.

I hate snow

2008-02-23T06:52:00.000-08:00

Well it snowed and iced us again this week. The kids schools closed for two days because of it. The only good thing for me was that my german class was canceled on friday because the college was closed. yeah...I hate german. I would not be taking it if I didnt need it to graduate.

On the up side, I applied for two historian jobs in Guam and one in Hawaii....yes I am ready to live in the sun!!! I seriously doubt I will get it, I mean I doubt they (whoever they are ) are going to want to move a family of five to the islands but I can dream cant I??

Visits!

2008-02-17T16:17:00.000-08:00

My sister came to visit this weekend. It was actually a nice visit. My sister lives about 4 hours or so away so we dont see her very much. Especially when she was married to her psycho husband who thank god she divorced last year. I wont get into how awful he was but he is very much deserving of a car accident.
Anyways my sister and I were talking about the past when we were kids. My sister was always the pretty one, the popular one, the one who gave my parents the most trouble, got all the guys all the friends. she wasnt very nice to me at all, wound lead my clothes to her friends without asking...that sort of thing. she didnt remember half of the things she did to me when we were kids. We never had much in common.
As we were talking she was talking about her new boyfriend, a guy who is completely not her regular type...an actual nice guy. she was amazed how much she loved him and kept going on about how he wasnt her type but she loved him. I just told her thats how love it and to stop going on about her type...her type has been terrible it was time for her to looke beyond her "type". we laughed and talked about our kids and other things.
I told her, that at that moment, right then around the table drinking coffee and talking was probably the first time in our entire lives that we were the most alike we had ever been or probably ever will be.

Panic

2008-02-12T16:09:00.000-08:00

Had a panic attack today. :sigh: I have no idea what to do with myself. I am not smart enough to get into doctorate school...at least I dont think I am....but other than that I have no idea what to do. I thought I didnt want to teach but I dont know...I just dont know....

Its gotten so bad that I have an eye twitch now and another trying to get one in my other eye. UGH!!!!!! :sigh:

Man I feel like all I do is bitch and whine. Ugh I need to take control.

Thesis

2008-02-11T16:46:00.000-08:00

:squeals: I am turning in my last chapter on Wednesday!!!!! I am so excited!!! Course now I am very scared. I have been in school, including undergraduate school, EIGHT
YEARS!!! Now I need a job...a good job so I can take care of my kids, maybe get out of this bad neighborhood (We are pretty sure the house across from us is a drug house now), Maybe even get a house that is big enough for each of my kids to have their own room. That would be cool!! :sigh: man..I am scared.

Things I want

2008-02-05T16:23:00.000-08:00

I want a job that is exciting and that I enjoy.
I want a house in Hawaii.
I want to be successful.
I want to be able to take care of my children.

Mid West Weather

2008-02-05T15:55:00.000-08:00

Well, we had a big storm on Friday. Schools closed we were all home it was in the 30s. Yesterday it was 71!!! LOL Today..in the 30s and lots of rain. Just crazy.

Springfield

2008-02-03T16:58:00.000-08:00

Last weekend we went to Springfield, IL my first time ever. We only live an hour or so away but I have never been. Course I didnt get to take but a few pictures because the batteries died in the camera and when my son Zack gave us the ones from his CD player...they died too. lol But I got a picture of Harri rubbing Lincoln's nose, David doing the same wondering why I made him do it and David got a picture of me, the redheaded hippie. lol

My kids

2008-02-01T13:09:00.000-08:00

My son Harrison. He will be 12yrs old in April. He is so funny and all he cares about are video games. He wants to marry a chinese girl and own several businesses so he will have a lot of money. LOL I hope he does it, he is a very determined little boy.

My daughter Llywellyn. She is 14 and has a learning disability and is slightly autisic. She wants to be a film director someday. She is very artistic in temperment and vision. She has had a hard road to travel and I know she still has a hard one ahead of her. But she is very sweet and kind and I have no doubt she will do it.

I love this picture of my son Zack. He is such a riot. He is 17yrs old as of last December. Ugh how time flies. He reminds me a lot of the character Hurley on Lost. He is sweet like that and says Dude to everything. He wants to be a writer someday. He is very good and I really think he will do it someday.

My first blog

2008-02-01T07:27:00.000-08:00

Well I am not really sure what I am going to be writing here. Right now my life is in limbo. I will be graduating from Graduate school in May with my masters in history and I have just realized that I do not want to teach. The only thing I did realize is that I would like to do something else. LOL funny huh? After eight years of school pursuing history I suddenly realize I do not want to spend my life teaching other people. There are a lot of other things that go into that but all I know is that I want to do something special with my life. LOL really funny for a woman who will be 39 this year.
Anyways, we are snowed in today. Yeah for the Mid-west..cause by Monday it will be in the 50's again!!! It is so crazy here. I am hoping someday (SSSOOOONNN) I will be moving my kids and my husband out of here. I want to apply for jobs in florida or California but to be honest I am scared. I have been living with my mother and on my student loan money this whole time in order that I could be home with my kids too and now I need a job. I just hope someone takes a chance of me. I have great grades!!LOL

Anyways this is sorta of...boring for my first blog so hopefully they will improve.
can someone tell me how to embed pictures in my blog??