I hate snow

Well it snowed and iced us again this week. The kids schools closed for two days because of it. The only good thing for me was that my german class was canceled on friday because the college was closed. yeah...I hate german. I would not be taking it if I didnt need it to graduate.

On the up side, I applied for two historian jobs in Guam and one in Hawaii....yes I am ready to live in the sun!!! I seriously doubt I will get it, I mean I doubt they (whoever they are ) are going to want to move a family of five to the islands but I can dream cant I??

Visits!

My sister came to visit this weekend. It was actually a nice visit. My sister lives about 4 hours or so away so we dont see her very much. Especially when she was married to her psycho husband who thank god she divorced last year. I wont get into how awful he was but he is very much deserving of a car accident.
Anyways my sister and I were talking about the past when we were kids. My sister was always the pretty one, the popular one, the one who gave my parents the most trouble, got all the guys all the friends. she wasnt very nice to me at all, wound lead my clothes to her friends without asking...that sort of thing. she didnt remember half of the things she did to me when we were kids. We never had much in common.
As we were talking she was talking about her new boyfriend, a guy who is completely not her regular type...an actual nice guy. she was amazed how much she loved him and kept going on about how he wasnt her type but she loved him. I just told her thats how love it and to stop going on about her type...her type has been terrible it was time for her to looke beyond her "type". we laughed and talked about our kids and other things.
I told her, that at that moment, right then around the table drinking coffee and talking was probably the first time in our entire lives that we were the most alike we had ever been or probably ever will be.

Panic

Had a panic attack today. :sigh: I have no idea what to do with myself. I am not smart enough to get into doctorate school...at least I dont think I am....but other than that I have no idea what to do. I thought I didnt want to teach but I dont know...I just dont know....

Its gotten so bad that I have an eye twitch now and another trying to get one in my other eye. UGH!!!!!! :sigh:

Man I feel like all I do is bitch and whine. Ugh I need to take control.

Thesis

:squeals: I am turning in my last chapter on Wednesday!!!!! I am so excited!!! Course now I am very scared. I have been in school, including undergraduate school, EIGHT
YEARS!!! Now I need a job...a good job so I can take care of my kids, maybe get out of this bad neighborhood (We are pretty sure the house across from us is a drug house now), Maybe even get a house that is big enough for each of my kids to have their own room. That would be cool!! :sigh: man..I am scared.

Things I want

I want a job that is exciting and that I enjoy.
I want a house in Hawaii.
I want to be successful.
I want to be able to take care of my children.

Mid West Weather

Well, we had a big storm on Friday. Schools closed we were all home it was in the 30s. Yesterday it was 71!!! LOL Today..in the 30s and lots of rain. Just crazy.

Springfield

Last weekend we went to Springfield, IL my first time ever. We only live an hour or so away but I have never been. Course I didnt get to take but a few pictures because the batteries died in the camera and when my son Zack gave us the ones from his CD player...they died too. lol But I got a picture of Harri rubbing Lincoln's nose, David doing the same wondering why I made him do it and David got a picture of me, the redheaded hippie. lol

My kids

My son Harrison. He will be 12yrs old in April. He is so funny and all he cares about are video games. He wants to marry a chinese girl and own several businesses so he will have a lot of money. LOL I hope he does it, he is a very determined little boy.

My daughter Llywellyn. She is 14 and has a learning disability and is slightly autisic. She wants to be a film director someday. She is very artistic in temperment and vision. She has had a hard road to travel and I know she still has a hard one ahead of her. But she is very sweet and kind and I have no doubt she will do it.

I love this picture of my son Zack. He is such a riot. He is 17yrs old as of last December. Ugh how time flies. He reminds me a lot of the character Hurley on Lost. He is sweet like that and says Dude to everything. He wants to be a writer someday. He is very good and I really think he will do it someday.

My first blog

Well I am not really sure what I am going to be writing here. Right now my life is in limbo. I will be graduating from Graduate school in May with my masters in history and I have just realized that I do not want to teach. The only thing I did realize is that I would like to do something else. LOL funny huh? After eight years of school pursuing history I suddenly realize I do not want to spend my life teaching other people. There are a lot of other things that go into that but all I know is that I want to do something special with my life. LOL really funny for a woman who will be 39 this year.
Anyways, we are snowed in today. Yeah for the Mid-west..cause by Monday it will be in the 50's again!!! It is so crazy here. I am hoping someday (SSSOOOONNN) I will be moving my kids and my husband out of here. I want to apply for jobs in florida or California but to be honest I am scared. I have been living with my mother and on my student loan money this whole time in order that I could be home with my kids too and now I need a job. I just hope someone takes a chance of me. I have great grades!!LOL

Anyways this is sorta of...boring for my first blog so hopefully they will improve.
can someone tell me how to embed pictures in my blog??