circle of life

My grandmother on the left, Buena in the middle and the last sister, Mildred on the right. My grandmother was the youngest along with her twin brother. He was the first to go at 81, then my grandmother at 83, Buena was 96. Mildred is the last of the family still living and she is 92.

My 37 yr old sister called me yesterday to let me know she is pregnant. She already has two little girls, 13 and 10 and now this is very big surprise.That same night I found out that my great aunt Buena (whose picture is on my site here) died at the age of 96.

New pics!!!

Llywellyn, Harrion, and Zackary

weird twists of life

Well it looks like I might be becoming a substitute teacher. I have been telling people for YEARS, I really mean that..YEARS, that I was not going to be a teacher. Now I am trying to be a sub and I am thinking of going for my teaching certificate in about a year. The more I think about it, the more it is the perfect job for me. My daughter is slightly autistic, very high functioning but she needs me home when she is home if possible. It was really hard for her while I was in graduate school because I had a lot of night classes, but I kept promising her that when this was done I would have a job in which I would be home every night. She has been counting on it. Me too. So teaching seems a fairly good fit. I also love kids. Being a mom has been the best thing in my entire life and I just adore kids. My mother has been telling me for years she thinks teaching would be good for me and that I would like it. Well, I am going to find out now.
I am very scared and excited. I have this weird peace about it. If you had any idea how nervous I am. I am this close to being one of those people who never leave the house. But I am going to do this. I am determined to do so. All I want from life right now is to be happy and to make my kids happy.

And to move to Colorado someday!!

New Year

I am not sure how I feel about the new year. The last year sorta sucked though I have had sucker years in the past.
I have a lot of changes ahead and I am a bit stressed out about them.
Course, my sister and her stupid boyfriend decided to pop in on us this weekend, eat all our food and then dump her kids with us while they drive around. Great...I hate that. I mean come on!!! Once a month is too much!! I do not want to see my sister that much and I dont appreciate having to feed her either EVERY MONTH! We have a limited budget here and when she and her kids and boyfriend come it blows it all to hell. I just wish my mother would say something to her but of course, she wont.
:takes deep breath: Okay I was a bit pissed about that but they are leaving today. yay!

The job hunting is getting me down to. I have a flipping Masters degree but I cannot find a job. I am scared to get a job too. I havent worked in over 9 yrs. I have been in school and being a mom. Before that I had not worked for 10yrs being an at home mom. I have had a total of 5 jobs my entire life and I hated all of them. :sigh:
But I keep telling myself I can do this.

I need a walk.

Ugh

My kids: Harrison, Llywellyn and Zackary!!

Harri: The Hat Thief

I just feel very Ugh right now. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact I still dont have a job, that I am scared to have a job, that I want a job that I like and that I am not sure what to do about it. I am also feeling like I went to college for nothing because I am looking at jobs at Barnes and Noble or Target when that is exactly what I went to school to avoid. BLAH!!!!

Okay now for pictures!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Well the last week has been crappy with my mother and I fighting with my sister about her stupid boyfriend she has had all of 3 1/2 months NOT coming for Thanksgiving. It was the stupidest thing. I won't write about it only because I don't really feel like rehashing it yet again but I still think my sister is a complete idiot. Anyways they ended up not coming because her ex husband was being a dick. (My sister is very good at surrounding herself with dicks).

BUT
We had a nice quiet Thanksgiving except for the boys threatening to throw food at one another. lol We had a great dinner and then went uptown for the annual Gingerbread walk. It was pitiful this year, not a lot of entries but we still had fun. Then we drove over the the Target shopping area and walked in front of all the stores and all over the parking lot looking for pennies and other loose change. It was fun because NO ONE was there. We had the place to ourselves. The kids had fun looking for change. lol My daughter is saving for a cosplay outfit so she will take any change she can find. It was a regular treasure hunt.

I hope everyone else had a great Thanksgiving. Tomorrow we are off to walk in Forest Park and the Central West End....and staying away from ALL the stores!!!

When did I get old?

My oldest son, Zackary is turning 18 years old next month. I keep trying to figure out how that happened? It seems sometimes that it hasnt been that long since I had him. He has always been such a great kid. He is kind, thoughtful, responsible (within reason), has never been in trouble except when he beats himself up thinking he is not good enough. He is not only a great kid, but a great older brother to his brother and sister, especially with his sister who is slightly autistic and has a learning disability. She can be difficult at times but Zack is so patient with her and they get along great. Harri, my youngest, absolutly worships Zack. He is not 250 lbs, 6ft tall. I remember when I could carry him on my hip.

It is exciting to see the young man he is turning into but sometimes I become sad missing the little boy he was.